Sipping Morning Tea With Christ
I slip the covers gently off and swing my feet to the floor. I move slowly and carefully to make sure I won’t step on the dog. And then, I remember: he’s not there. We haven’t picked him up from the kennel since returning from our trip last night–taking our oldest to the East coast for college. I think, oh good, no dog to walk today. A little break.
I make my morning tea in the dark and nestle into my cozy chair with my bible. But I’m first distracted by my cell phone. I need to check for text messages. See if I’ve heard from either of the kids. I check. Nothing from either. I sit in my cozy chair, no dog curled up by my feet, no word from the kids. Husband still asleep.
I relish the time alone and feel lonely at the same time. I’ve always needed time alone. Time with God. Quiet time. Or, as a teen, time running–usually along a wooded path near our home. Time to reflect, to pray, to sing praises. But today, the loneliness sinks me deep into the chair. Tears flow slowly yet steadily down my cheeks.
I miss the kids. It has been so good to have them home for the summer. Seeing how they matured over the school year. Getting to know them again. Seeing their hearts. Their spirits. Seeing what makes them passionate. And, yes, picking up after them. Trying to figure out meals that everyone will eat, and whether everyone will even be there if I do. Juggling schedules and cars and moods and who gets to use the washing machine next.
I miss it all–the messiness of living as a family–a hopelessly imperfect family–in this broken world. And, I thank God for it all. For His hand in it. For His grace and forgiveness. For the fullness of relationships. For the pain that comes along with it sometimes.
And, I thank Him for the loneliness because it reminds me that He is present in it all. In the fullness and in the loneliness. In the joy and in the sadness. And, that as I sit here none of us are alone–even if we are lonely. He is present some 2,500 miles away with our son and some 25 miles away with our daughter. And, He is here. Now. With me.
And so, I sip my morning tea with Christ. And find comfort in it all.
Posted on August 29, 2010, in Christianity, Faith, family, God, Joy, parenting and tagged Christianity, Comfort, Faith, family, God, Lonliness, parenting, Religion, Tea. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.