The Rich Reality of Marriage.
“Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Try always to be led along together by the Holy Spirit, and so be at peace with one another.”
While change is difficult, marriage can amplify the difficulty. When two people come together to make decisions, two opinions, two approaches, two sets of feelings enter the conversation.
Often during my marriage–23 years and counting–I know my husband and I have failed to work together to make decisions. One of us would just make a decision and bring the other along for the ride–cajoling, nudging, pushing, and even pulling at times. Other times, we have thoughtfully walked through the decision-making process, together.
Sometimes, I want change for our life, but I feel held back because of where my husband is in his work or with his health or something else. I’ve thought, more often than I want to admit, “If it were all up to me, I would . . . .” I feel frustrated or stuck. I feel helpless and impatient.
I let my selfishness suck up my energy and my vitality. Instead of appreciating the moments and the journey together, I waste my energy on wishes and hopes and desires that beckon me away from this life, this reality.
But, marriage is my “rich reality,” as Nora Gallagher calls it. And, rather than live under the illusion of my readiness for change and my desire–I need to live in the truth of what marriage means. I need to see and appreciate the richness of the journey. I need to live the story of our marriage that God has provided us. I need the rich reality of this loving man that God has blessed me with.
Together, we need to be “led along together by the Holy Spirit” and to “be at peace.” Ephesians 4: 2-3. We need to be led in this journey. So simple. So much easier than nudging or pushing or pulling or cajoling. I feel peace just at the thought of being led.